said
God
.
blo
nd jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere,
not just to me. I would lik
e for blond jokes to stop."
A blonde is visiting
Canberra.
This is her first time to the city, so she wants to see the capitol
building. Unfortunately, she can't find it, so she asks a police officer
for directions. "Excuse me, officer," the blonde says, "how do I get
to the Parliament house?"
The officer says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus.
It'll take you right there."
The blonde thanks the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer
gets out of his car and says, "Excuse me, but to get to the Parliament
House, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours
ago. Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde says, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th
bus just went by!"
A blonde woman named
Babbette found herself in dire trouble.
Her business had gone bust and she was in serious financial trouble.
She was so desperate that she decided to ask God for help.
She began to pray. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if
I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let
me win the lotto".
Lotto night came and somebody else won.
Babbette again prayed. "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost
my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night came and Babbette still had no luck.
Once again she prayed. "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost
my business, my house and my car. My children are starving. I don't
often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you.
Please just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life
back in order."
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened and
Babbette was confronted by the voice of God himself.
"Babbette, meet me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
After noticing a
beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a suave, sophisticated
young man confidently strolled over to the table where she was sat and
said: "What can I get you, gorgeous?"
The woman, blushed and replied: "If you're sure you don't mind, I'll
have a large stiff one, please."
The man smiled, casually leaned over the table, and whispered into the
woman's ear:
"Would that be before or after I've got the drinks?"
There's a blonde,
a brunette, and a redhead traveling through the desert when their car
suddenly stalls.
They all get out of the car and, upon realizing that it's not going
to start, they each take one thing from the car.
The brunette takes a bottle of water, the redhead takes a bag of food
with her, and the blonde takes the car door.
They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest. At this
point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask her why
she brought the food.
She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry I'll have something to eat."
They all think this is pretty reasonable and then the redhead and the
blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water.
The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty I'll have something
to drink."
They all decide that's a good idea, too. Finally, the brunette and the
redhead turn to the blonde and ask her why on earth she would take the
car door.
She replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."
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